Mrs. Rivka Malka Perlman
The Erev Shabbat Frenzy
בזאת תדעון כי ד' שלחני לעשות את כל המעשים האלה...
Through this you shall know that Hashem sent me to perform all these acts… (Bamidbar 16:28)
Around a month and a half before Pesach this past year, I began having some plumbing problems in my house. A number of pipes burst underground and flooded our basement. Being that this happened on Friday just hours before Shabbat, my entire family was in a frenzy. We did not have any water and we all still needed to take showers and ready ourselves for Shabbat. That was besides the fact that my kitchen was a mess because I had to stop in the middle of cooking. But considering that nothing could be done at the moment, we headed to the JCC to take showers as I quickly piled up the dirty dishes as best as I could.
Despite the craziness which pervaded our home on Erev Shabbat, Shabbat itself was peaceful and beautiful. But that was not the end of the plumbing problems.
Three weeks later, our water heater broke. It was Friday afternoon again, and all of a sudden, our basement was soaking wet. Luckily, my husband placed some bricks on the ground and piled our Pesach dishes on top preventing them from becoming water damaged; but things did not go too smoothly otherwise. And so, once again, we entered Shabbat without hot water in our home and managed as best as we could.
Later that Shabbat, I came across a story which Mrs. Sara Yocheved Rigler wrote about herself. She tells about the time she once noticed a rat in her house, yet could not get rid of it. Whatever she tried to do was to no avail. The rat had found a home of its own and had no plan of leaving any time soon. Unsure what to do, Mrs. Rigler decided that she would visit Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg zt”l and ask if there was any possible reason why this rat persisted to remain in her home.
After hearing the circumstances of the rat, Rav Scheinberg said, “It is not the rat which needs to be attended to, but rather yourself.” Explaining that everything which happens to a person comes directly from Hashem, he directed her to research the rat in Perek Shira. A sefer which enumerates the various songs of praise expressed by all parts of creation in the world, the rat too has a line. It says, “Let every neshama (soul) praise Hashem!” Taken from Psalm 150 in Tehillim, the rat conveys its appreciation for life. It does not complain, but rather embraces its lowly life and makes the most of it. Chazal explain this Pasuk to mean that for every neshima (breath), a word similar to neshama, we are to praise Hashem (Yalkut Shimoni, Tehillim 889). Every breath of life is precious and requires that we show our immense gratitude to our Creator.
As Sara Yocheved Rigler came across this intriguing interpretation of what the rat says, she was sincerely moved. Realizing that perhaps the rat was doing more than being a nuisance, but was sending her a message, she began thinking of her own life.
One day when she returned from her normal routine of walking with her young son to school, she proceeded to talk with her husband. And as she had done many times before, she told him how her morning had gone. Mentioning that their son had complained about the uncomfortable heat, as the conversation continued and Mrs. Rigler added some of her own complaints, she all of a sudden stopped in her tracks. And then she remembered the message of the rat. “Why I am complaining?” she thought to herself. “I should be praising Hashem for the gift of a beautiful son and another day to live.” From then on, she decided that she would work on always being positive. When she would be asked how everything is going, she would do her utmost to respond, “Great, Baruch Hashem!”
This was the story I read to my children after our own little “episode” had recurred a few times. Thinking what could perhaps be our issue to remedy, I began thinking. What does water symbolize? Considering that water is compared to Torah, maybe not enough Torah learning was taking place in our house. Although the idea made sense, I did not feel that the issue was Torah learning. And so, I thought some more. And then I realized that deep down I knew exactly what the problem was.
Both occurrences of there being no water took place on Erev Shabbat. On both occasions, we entered Shabbat a bit disheveled and uneasy. And that was because, at least on a personal basis, Erev Shabbat is always a hectic time. When under pressure, I tend to be able to get things together and finish; but undoubtedly it is coupled with much tension and chaos.
It was on the following Thursday that I received a phone call. It was Metuka Newman, a friend I had gone to high school with. Although I had been in touch with her while I lived in Israel, that was eighteen years ago. For the past eighteen years, I had only spoken to her twice. But on this Thursday, out of the blue, she called me.
“Rivka Malka,” she said, “I have an organization called Shamor, which stands for Shabbat Mukdam U’ragua (Shabbat early and calm). It is an organization which I have started in Israel which hosts gatherings for women and speaks about the importance of entering Shabbat peacefully and calmly. We have also implemented a special phone system which reminds everyone that Shabbat is soon to begin. As well, classes are provided which offer home organizing tips to make the Shabbat preparations run smoother and easier. It has, Baruch Hashem, met much success in Israel and grown tremendously. However, I was looking to spread it throughout America. Would you happen to have any ideas as to how we could do so?”
As I heard what Metuka had to say, I was taken aback. I had not spoken to her in close to two decades and there were plenty of other people in America she could have spoken to. However, she called me. And it was for a very good reason. Hashem knew I had to hear this message and He sent it straight to me. “You were right that you need to improve on your Erev Shabbat preparations. Here is a phone call all the way from Israel especially for you.”
The messages which Hashem send us are endless. Some are quiet and must be listened to with an attentive ear, while some others are a bit more obvious. But either way, when we hear the phone ring, we should be able to discern who the caller is.