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Dr. Jack Cohen
Thank You Cathy
Anyone who had ever met Dave could attest that he possessed a certain presence that filled the room and perfectly matched his calming voice of a radio announcer. But Dave’s story was never so simple, as it all began when he was but a teenager, living in one Southern city in the United States…
As a result of a court-ordered busing law and other city-regulated statutes, Dave found himself in a public school together with students from more affluent suburban areas. It was there that Dave, as a young fifteen-year-old, met Cathy on the first day of school. A relationship slowly but surely progressed, and before long, Dave asked Cathy to marry him. Aside from both their young ages, the bigger issue was clearly in their religious differences. Dave was Jewish; Cathy was Catholic.
While both of Dave’s parents were Jewish, he had little religious background. Whatever Dave in fact knew about Judaism, he learned from Cathy, who despite being a devout Catholic, was insistent that Dave understand more about his own Jewish religion. She would frequently say things to Dave, the likes of, “If there were no Jews around, there would be no civilization.” Without question, Cathy was supportive and encouraging of Dave to connect to his true heritage. Quite an interesting dynamic existed between the two of them.
One year, Cathy asked Dave what he had done to celebrate Sukkot, using the correct Hebrew term for the holiday, as she was familiar with. Dave had no idea what she was referring to, so Cathy further pushed him to speak to his rabbi. Dave of course followed Cathy’s suggestion, though his rabbi did nothing more than point towards the tabernacle which had been built in the synagogue’s social hall. That was all he said. When Dave reported to Cathy about this unusual encounter, Cathy was incredulous. “Doesn’t the rabbi understand that the point of the holiday is to relive the protection the Jewish people experienced in the desert? The sukkah must be outside with nothing hanging above it.” Cathy was pretty knowledge about Jewish religion and observance. She knew more about Sukkot from reading the World Book than Dave’s rabbi knew.
On another occasion, Dave and Cathy visited a career fair in a local shopping mall. It wasn’t before long that Cathy commented, “Dave, your future is not going to be found here.” While she did not specifically say so, Dave understood that her statement had to do with him being Jewish. Here was a Catholic girl prying and prodding him to investigate his Jewish roots. Almost from the first moment they met, Cathy was intent on Dave discovering what it meant to be one of the Chosen People.
After her first semester in college, Cathy spent a semester in Israel as a foreign exchange student, and upon her return, chose archaeology as her major. Concurrently, she urged Dave to fulfill his language requirements by taking Hebrew. Dave agreed to do so, though within just a few days, he realized that he was at a distinct disadvantage. All the other students had at least some type of Hebrew school background, except Dave.
Dave eagerly wanted to drop the course, though upon Cathy’s persistent encouragement, he decided to continue. Fortunately for Dave, in addition to learning how to read Hebrew and understand the basic rules of grammar, he forged a relationship with the Orthodox rabbi, who was the visiting professor for the course. With Dave and Cathy taking their respective courses and working towards their degrees, they made up to get married after graduating. The wedding date was set and the arrangements began.
But it was a mere three months before their marriage that they were hit with a surprise.
Cathy was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. It would require significant medical intervention, which they both were well aware would be necessary. The wedding plans continued and eventually ended, although for the next three years after marriage, life was a nightmare of constant medical treatment and searches for new therapy. As was soon discovered, Cathy’s end was near.
As time passed and Cathy realized the sorrowful reality of her future, she requested that the same rabbi who had been Dave’s professor in college visit her in the hospital and grant her blessings. That was her dying wish. Although she did not reach out to any similar non-Jewish clergy or, on the other hand, indicate that she wished to convert to Judaism, she did insist that she be buried in compliance with Jewish ritual.
Aside from Cathy’s own future, what stood foremost on her mind in the months prior to her passing was Dave’s future as a Jew. Her mind constantly wandered to how Dave would rediscover his roots and return to Judaism. “Your destiny is with your people,” she repeatedly told him. Above all, she instructed Dave to not marry another gentile when she herself left this world. “As soon as you muster the strength,” she told him, “you must go to Jerusalem. The world was created for the Jewish people with Jerusalem as the center.”
And then came the fateful day. Cathy sadly passed away at age 24, leaving Dave with her dying wish of him reconnecting to his heritage and pursuing a life filled with Jewish practice. At that time, Dave had built and sold one business and invested the proceeds in the stock market. He was no less than a millionaire.
Shortly thereafter, Dave committed to his part of Cathy’s last wish and traveled to Israel. Soon after arriving, Dave headed to the Kotel with an expensive camera around his neck. He stepped up to the Kotel and lifted his camera, though a man politely prompted him to lower his arms. “What’s going on?” Dave asked, confused as to what was preventing him from snapping a picture. “It’s Shabbat,” the man replied, “and it is prohibited to take pictures on this holy day.” Dave was intrigued by the newly learned fact, and began conversing with the fellow. It wasn’t long before Dave and his new friend decided to meet together at a coffee shop to discuss more about life and Judaism.
Dave spent the next two weeks in Jerusalem. After his trip came to a close, he left a little wiser about Jewish observance and decided he would commit himself to further explore what it meant to be a Jew. His new friend from Israel connected him with Chezky Paneth from New York, who agreed to take Dave under his wing and spend some quality time with him.
Now with Dave back in the states, he arranged to spend Shabbos with Mr. Paneth. After the Friday night davening, Dave happily followed Mr. Paneth back to his home, though Dave’s pocket jingled with the sound of coins. Mr. Paneth happened to hear the noise emanating from behind, and began teaching Dave some laws of Shabbos, which would go on to form a basic body of Jewish knowledge for him. Three years later, Dave was ready to marry a young observant widow with two small children. And in fact, they married and began building their new home together, founded upon Torah ideals and religious observance.
But then Dave’s business enterprise took a hard hit. Without Dave’s knowledge, he was defrauded a fortune by a stock broker. Upon consulting with the city’s top law firm and reviewing the evidence, the lawyer informed Dave that he stood to recover millions of dollars in damage under statues from the brokerage firm due to false misrepresentation in stock sales.
The only catch was that the broker was Jewish, and Dave knew that he would surely face criminal prosecution and end up in jail for fraud. Dave struggled with the harsh reality, that despite the fact that he was wronged, he would be involved in having another Jew go to jail for what could be quite a while. He wished to serve as a role model for his new family, and wondered if he could actually be alright financially even without recouping the lost finances. And indeed, Dave walked away from millions. He still remained well-off and part of an large business corporation, but it was without question a difficult decision to make as he did.
A few years later, Dave decided that he wished to move to Israel and learn full-time for a period. With the encouragement and support of his wife and family, he did exactly that. As a junior partner in a very lucrative construction business, however, the senior partners did not condone Dave’s move to Israel. Dave though knew that he could not deny himself that chance to immerse himself in Torah learning. It was an opportunity he never had before and something that would easily be lost were he not to take advantage of. And so, he left his lucrative business and took off to Israel.
Over the past thirty years, Dave has raised millions of dollars and helped support Jewish day schools, yeshivos and provided scholarships in both Israel and America. All done out of love for the Jewish people, he has helped bring thousands of jobs to Israeli companies looking to expand to American markets.
Cathy would surely be proud and surprised that Dave took up her dying wish of finding his destiny with the Jewish people. And she surely got her wish, as Dave rediscovered his way back and has ever since then helped countless Jews live comfortable lives and become closer to their families, communities and ultimately, Hashem.
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